growing up and the bizarre world of change
Hi friends! Welcome to my blog. Yes, I’m starting a blog. Am I secretly a 45 year old mom high on eucalyptus essential oil? Kinda seems like it right now. But here’s what’s up.
I’ve always loved writing and the therapy that I find in it is so important to me. During this uncertain time, mental health is more crucial than ever - and letting my feelings flow onto paper (or a keyboard) is how I maintain mine. I think now is the perfect time to take up new hobbies or work on old skills, so I’m choosing to spill my guts on the internet. Oops. Maybe dumb? We’ll see. Anyway - what was I talking about? Cool. Enjoy this little piece of my inner monologue, this time about growing up and the bizarre world of change.
I want, more than just about anything, to go back in time and spirit to the place I left so long ago. I want to gain back the ability to see everything as a piece of magic in a seemingly not so magical life. To go back to a mental space in which everything and anything meant the world to me in the moment, and yet the next day was nothing but a memory. Little did I know I was making the happiest memories of my life. Little did I know that someday, big, grown up me wouldn’t find life quite so exciting. Naivety was my best friend, and it made every light shine a little brighter, every word sound a little sweeter, and every touch last a little longer. When does naivety become a danger to oneself instead of a weapon against the world? What is the tipping point?
I want to sit under the slide and let the only thought in my mind be whether or not my sisters were going to come out and play pine-cone families. I want to have a mind that is only filled with wonder and stories, creatures and friends. There is no room for that now. My mind is more often crowded with commitments and disappointments, plans and doubts.
I hope that this world is not growing up along with me. Growing out of imagination and joy for simple things, like power outages and hotel elevators. I want my kids to grow up knowing what it feels like to run so fast you feel like your feet are going to take off without you. I want them to belly laugh with their imaginary friends. I want them not to feel ashamed for their lack of awareness of the pain this world can bring, but to feel empowered by it. And to hold onto it as hard and as long as they can. Wonder and naivety don’t have to leave when you get older, they can simply grow up with you.
I’ve always loved writing and the therapy that I find in it is so important to me. During this uncertain time, mental health is more crucial than ever - and letting my feelings flow onto paper (or a keyboard) is how I maintain mine. I think now is the perfect time to take up new hobbies or work on old skills, so I’m choosing to spill my guts on the internet. Oops. Maybe dumb? We’ll see. Anyway - what was I talking about? Cool. Enjoy this little piece of my inner monologue, this time about growing up and the bizarre world of change.
I want, more than just about anything, to go back in time and spirit to the place I left so long ago. I want to gain back the ability to see everything as a piece of magic in a seemingly not so magical life. To go back to a mental space in which everything and anything meant the world to me in the moment, and yet the next day was nothing but a memory. Little did I know I was making the happiest memories of my life. Little did I know that someday, big, grown up me wouldn’t find life quite so exciting. Naivety was my best friend, and it made every light shine a little brighter, every word sound a little sweeter, and every touch last a little longer. When does naivety become a danger to oneself instead of a weapon against the world? What is the tipping point?
I want to sit under the slide and let the only thought in my mind be whether or not my sisters were going to come out and play pine-cone families. I want to have a mind that is only filled with wonder and stories, creatures and friends. There is no room for that now. My mind is more often crowded with commitments and disappointments, plans and doubts.
I hope that this world is not growing up along with me. Growing out of imagination and joy for simple things, like power outages and hotel elevators. I want my kids to grow up knowing what it feels like to run so fast you feel like your feet are going to take off without you. I want them to belly laugh with their imaginary friends. I want them not to feel ashamed for their lack of awareness of the pain this world can bring, but to feel empowered by it. And to hold onto it as hard and as long as they can. Wonder and naivety don’t have to leave when you get older, they can simply grow up with you.
i am obsessed with you
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